Friday, November 14, 2008

TAKIN' GRAMMA DANCIN'

For Gramma Roselle and her mother Caroline
(This is an actual song. It's only here temporarily.
)

COME ON GRAMMA, PUT YOUR DANCIN' SHOES ON
WE'RE ONLY SEVENTEEN, YOU'RE ONLY SEVENTY-ONE
MAMA SAYS YOU NEVER OUT-GREW YOUR FUN
WE'RE TAKIN' GRAMMA DANCIN' TONIGHT

GRAMMA'S GOT A FIGURE AND SHE'S HOLDIN' IT FAST
SHE DOES THE IRISH REEL LIKE A BLAST FROM THE PAST
WE HAVEN'T SEEN HER SMILIN' SINCE SHE DANCED IT LAST
WE'RE TAKIN' GRAMMA DANCIN' TONIGHT

. . . SAID SHE MET YOUR GRAMPA ON A WEEKEND DATE
. . . HE PICKED HER AT A MARATHON IN NINETEEN TWENTY-EIGHT
. . . THEY WENT FROM FRIDAY AFTERNOON TO SUNDAY LATE
. . . WE THINK THEY MUST HAVE ENDED UP RIGHT

ACROSS THE HILLS OF PITTSBURGH IS A CLUB DOWNTOWN
THE STREETS GO STEEP AND THEY DON'T GO AROUND
IT'S FIVE MILES STRAIGHT AND FIVE MILES UP AND DOWN
WE'RE TAKIN' GRAMMA DANCIN' TONIGHT

. . . DON'T LET HER MAKE EXCUSES, ALL THE PLANS ARE MADE
. . . FORGET THE DIRTY DISHES AND THE CAT NEEDS WEIGHED
. . . CALL 'EM UP AND CANCEL THAT GAME OF OLD MAID
. . . TO LEAVE HER HOME JUST WOULDN'T BE RIGHT

SHE SAID SHE WOULDN'T GO WITHOUT A DANCIN' CARD
BUT ONCE YOU GET HER STARTED, IT'S STOPPIN' HER'S HARD
SHE REALLY CUTS A RUG ON BERKSHIRE BOULEVARD
WE'RE TAKIN' GRAMMA DANCIN' TONIGHT

YEH, WE'RE TAKIN' GRAMMA DANCIN'_ TAKIN' GRAMMA DANCIN'_
TAKIN' GRAMMA DANCIN' TONIGHT___



copyright 2008, Lyric-Dragon

The Trouble With The Astral Plane

You can't take a bus, you can't take a plane, you can't get there by boat or train
it isn't a safe or a tame domain, and that's the trouble with the Astral Plane
You can't look it up in a travel guide or a foreign ports brochure
but if angels hear you one might let you apply for a private tour
You take your ticket and wait your turn and the angel waits to see
whether you forget it or come to burn with intense curiosity

It may take days, it may take weeks, it may take months instead
you may be awake, in a day-dream state, or sound asleep in bed
But the moment that you least expect he sneaks up on your soul
and yanks it by the nape of your neck as he comes to take control
You don't let go and you feel as though you've just been thunderstruck
like he hooked you up to the engine-jack of a ten ton tractor truck

And he calls, "Let go!" with a mighty shout and reminds you, you applied
as he tugs you from the inside out and says, "Time for that ride!"
To back down now you do not dare, though the treatment is some shoddy
So you just surrender and get prepared to evacuate your body
You say a quick prayer and you take a deep breath and he jerks you just once more
till your soul and your body disconnect and you're ____zzzzzzzzzzoop! through the astral door

It's a soft, warm night in a pale twilight and a brilliant silver thread
connects you from your astral feet to your flesh incarnate head
And you float above the tops of trees and you fly like Peter Pan
steering left, right, as you please with a mere flip of the hand
It's an alter-material, parallel world where you think the path you take
It isn't a dream or a hair-brained scheme, you are utterly wide awake

It's a simultaneous nether-realm where ethereal spirits soar
And you realize with your astral eyes that you've visited here before
As you cogitate on your astral state you remember how you whiled
many an astral hour away when you were just a child
soaring in bliss, just like this, so high up off the ground
with never a thought for how you got up or how to get back down

nor what they'd do if your parents knew that at your tender age
you rose right through the roof at night like a bird right through it's cage
and you leapt to a breathless precipice twenty-six feet over head
tripping the light fantastic-ness when they thought you were in bed
So now you glide at an angel's side. What a perfect thing to do!
exploring woods and old neighborhoods with a bird's-eye point of view

And you thrill to see the geography from this death-defying height
You can hardly wait to investigate, but you dare not stop tonight
There's a thousand doors in a corridor and a thousand or more of those
As you pass them up at the speed of thought, they fall like dominoes
And for every door you pass ten more spring up, and then you find
that out of sight is out of your etheric double's mind

You've left your body far below unattended on the ground
and a hundred unseen hungry ghouls have begun to swarm around
Ekes, effreets, knobbily wooves have caught the scent from hell
and they all want in what looks to them like a vacant human shell
Well, they bubble and squeek as they nibble and sneak and gnawsh upon your cord
and try to stuff themselves inside every portal in your gourd

And they buzz the buzz of a thousand bees that malevolently swish you
as they quarrel and fight to occupy every cubic inch of your tissue
But you pass right through this motley crew as your guardian yanks you down
A door slams shut and you wake up re-embodied, safe and sound
But the buzzing lingers round your head even after you awaken
Your ethereal self is a sated elf, but your mortal form is shaken

It's not unlike being bitten off, chewed up, and spit right back
You don't recall as a child at all any such traumatic attack
Then comes an invisible pair of wings, like a dove hovering above you
that sweeps away all the greedy things still trying to yank and shove you
And it sweeps your body head to toe as it gently tucks you in
and adjusts you like a virtuoso fine-tuning the violin

And at last you sink to a peaceful place and sleep the sleep of the just
To trip in the Astral Plane you may, but to dwell in this world, you must
And unless you're an old and practiced soul, or an innocent without fear
don't try this trick alone, my friends, you can't get there from here
You can't take a bus, you can't take a plane, you can't get there by boat or train
It isn't a safe or a tame domain, and that's the trouble with the Astral Plane


copyright 2008, Lyric-Dragon

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

General Patton

Love of country and a prickly pill
made George Patton wanna shoot to kill
"No one ever won a blasted war
dyin' for his country" . . . so he swore

Guts and Glory and tanks and jeeps
made George Patton wanna play for keeps
"Can't serve a country dead, gee whiz!
Make the other bastard die for his"

He sized up Sicily, tangoed in
cha cha'd right alongside his men
met the Germans and waltzed them out
made Mussolini Twist and Shout

Spit n' Vinegar and all that stuff
made George Patton be a little too rough
One of his men showed a bit of a streak
the General lost it, slapped his cheek

The Press was looking through the Little Guys' eyes
Ike said, "George, you must apologize"
The chief took him out of the ranks of war
sittin' around just made him sore

Before his fellow man and God
faced the Media Firing Squad
All of the papers ran the story
bit their bullets and said, "I'm sorry"

Spoke with self-made reprehensions
at genteel, beau monde tea-conventions
When they were weary of this attraction
Ike went and put him back into action

He danced on France and he pressed the line
made the Vichy government whine
All of the history books divulge
let it all out at Battle of the Bulge

Stood surveying his piece of hell
cried for the brave young men that fell
Saw one wounded, flat-out kneeled
kissed that soldier on the battlefield

Charged into Germany and sapped their power
made the Nazi's kraut turn sauer
Helped Great Britain and all of Europe
get themselves out of neck-deep syrup

Made no bones about the Nitty and Gritty
wrote the book about the Doo-Wah-Ditty
More than once people heard him say
"Lead me, follow, or get out of the way"

Rough and tumble and a little bit nuts
gave him the title 'Old Blood n' Guts'
He fought for me and he fought for you
General Patton in World War II

Copyright 2008, Lyric-Dragon

Monday, November 10, 2008

Personally, I Don't Care For It Anymore

They will tell you Marijuana
makes you do things you don't wanna
makes you run and swallow Drain-o
just because you didn't "say No"
Have you heard the latest rumor?
It will give you brain tumor
it will make you deaf and dumb
make you smart, make you numb

make you drive your Mazeratis
into public porto-potties
make you rob a store of liquor
just to get your next fix quicker
'Nother reason not to try it
it could cause a prison riot
(Shame on you if you are in one
and you happen to begin one)

All their lies can be excused
to prevent it's being used
they will try and interrupt you
just to make it not corrupt you
they will tell you Cannibis
makes you 'that' and makes you 'this'
makes you fidget, makes you sleepy
makes you silly, makes you weepy

makes you manic, makes you silent
makes you passive, makes you violent
Sounds like they can't make their minds up
Do not use it with the blinds up
They will make sure that you rue it
if they catch you when you do it
How they treat you won't be regal
now that it's ordained 'illegal'

even though the reasons given
don't exactly ever happen
All because they've never tried it
That is why you have to hide it
If you want to set a taboo
spread a story, do what they do
Not to try it in your youth
causes lack of telling truth



Copyright 2008, Lyric-Dragon

No One

Whence I'm from is stuff of yore
I am not there anymore
if it's not the heretofore, I couldn't say remotely
Wither I went I don't recall
left no writing on the wall
wasn't hardly there at all, but then, I wouldn't quote me

When it was is long away
I was there, but what the hey!
wasn't quick enough to say, I saw the moment shape me
First I wasn't, then I came
after that, I had a name
If you were me, you'd be the same. Whens and Wheres escape me


What to do with Where or When
wondered once, but that was then
won't be doing that again, couldn't if you made me
What I used to be as well
since I came, I cannot tell
Used-to-be's on which I dwell have never, ever stayed me

Who I am became a thought
out of what-not on the spot
but how I came to be from naught, I forgot to notice
At the time I didn't care
I was wholly unaware
it was neither here nor there. Haven't got the slightest


How then to convey to you
an answer to the question "who?"
You would have to be me too, and then, like me, forget it
Whence I'm from and wither I went
when it was and what it meant
wants to be a past event. If I were you, I'd let it

Whence and whither can't explain
where and when are asked in vain
used-to-be's are not germane, at least, it doesn't strike me
Long as wherewithal is none
being me is never done
I amn't really anyone. There's really no one like me



Copyright 2008, Lyric-Dragon

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